I just do not understand people.
I had an experience this week that will forever be stuck in my mind. Unfortunately, it is not a good experience.
My heart still aches remembering what I witnessed.
I was helping a friend of mine by taking her son to his pre-school. I was signing him in, helping him with his jacket, the normal morning routine. There was another mother in the room as well, talking with the teacher and her daughter. I heard them talking but did not pay any attention to their conversation.
Part of the conversation registered with me, and I smiled slightly, thinking it was nice to hear another parent teach their child about taking personal responsibility. The little girl had lost her charm at school the previous day. Her mother told her that she would not replace it, and neither would Santa, because it was her responsibility to keep up with it.
The mother opened the door (one of those that is cut in half, so the top will open, but the bottom will close, to keep the children in, but you can still talk over the top) to leave, and closed it behind her.
What happened next literally stopped me in my tracks and almost brought me to tears right there in the classrom.
The little girl looked up at her mom, who was already on the other side of the door, and said, "Mommy, I want a hug!"
The mother curtly replied, "No, I am not going to give you a hug because I am mad at you."
And she turned and walked away, leaving the little girl standing there. The little girl did not cry, but you could see that she was very sad- who wouldn't be??!!
My heart was ripped into watching this little girl. I wanted to bend down and put my arms around her and give her a hug, but these people do not know me at all. I was very torn on what to do, so I finally just hugged my friends little boy and left. I could not get to my car fast enough!
By this time I was fighting back tears. I had to put my toddler into his car seat, and he could tell that mommy was upset. I was trying not to let too much emotion escape me at this point, because I did not want to upset my son.
As soon as I could, I called my mom. I thanked her for raising me the way that she did, and never denying affection from me. I cried as I told her what I had just witnessed.
For much of the morning I pondered what had happened. I've come to realize that this exchange must happen a countless number of times throughout each day. How many children are denied affection because their parents are angry with them?
I am very strict on my children. But I also believe that with discipline comes love. If one of my children receives a spanking, they are hugged, and told that they are loved very much, that I know they do not understand this right now, but it is because I love them that I discipline them. I NEVER, EVER, EVER want any of my children to feel rejected because they have made a mistake.
But witnessing this exchange also made me realize something else.
For many years I had a misconception of Who God Is. I had understood from the preaching I had heard that when you mess up, God is angered. I began to believe that God denied His love from me.
Over the years, many things happened in my life that set me on a path of self-destruction. It took a major tragedy in my life for me to see God for Who He truly Is. I am sad that it took a tragedy, but I am so thankful that I know the love of my God.
God is my Heavenly Father. He disciplines me just as I discipline my children. But God NEVER, EVER, EVER witholds His love and affection from me!
I pray that this little girl- as well as her mother- will come to know the unconditional love of God. And I hope that this mother's heart will be softened and changed to love her child unconditionally- even when she is angry with her.
~*~
The Lord is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
Psalm 145:8
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
"God Bless The USA"
Today is Veteran's Day. It is a very somber day for me. My freedom was bought with a price. Much blood, sweat and tears have been shed so that I might enjoy the freedoms that I have. Many lives have been lost for our country.
I want to say a special thank you to each person who has sacrificed for my freedom.
Our country is not the country I was raised in. So often I look around and hardly recognize the country today. I am sad for my children that they will never know the way things were.
And yet, with as far downhill as this country has gone, it is still the greatest country on earth. For now. I know many will disagree with me. And that's ok. But today, and forever I will say- "God bless the U.S.A.!"
~*~
The wicked flee when no one pursues,
but the righteous are bold as a lion.
Proverbs 28:1
I want to say a special thank you to each person who has sacrificed for my freedom.
Our country is not the country I was raised in. So often I look around and hardly recognize the country today. I am sad for my children that they will never know the way things were.
And yet, with as far downhill as this country has gone, it is still the greatest country on earth. For now. I know many will disagree with me. And that's ok. But today, and forever I will say- "God bless the U.S.A.!"
~*~
The wicked flee when no one pursues,
but the righteous are bold as a lion.
Proverbs 28:1
Sunday, November 8, 2009
"Courtesy Of The Red White And Blue"
Now the news comes out that the terrorist that killed 13 people and wounded 29 others on Thursday at Ft. Hood has been linked to the terrorists of September 11, 2001.
We now live in a world where being "politically correct" is valued over the truth. If you speak the truth you are seen as "intolerant".
I am infuriated!
Other people's rights end when it infringes on my rights! But they don't see it that way. If I don't agree with them then I am the one that is wrong because I am intolerant.
I must respect the "rights" of these other believes, yet they do not respect my rights to my beliefs.
Thankfully this terrorist- if he survives his injuries- will not be left with pleasant options no matter how it goes. If he is tried by the U.S. Military he will receive the death penalty. If he is tried by the State of Texas he will receive the death penalty. Justice will be served, and I'm quite sure it will be quick justice. And he will not be allowed to be seen as a "martyr" for his belief because he was captured by his enemy. Tough break for you, terrorist! You chose to mess with the wrong state. You will receive your justice, Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue. The only question is- will it be the Red, White and Blue of the U.S. Military- or will it be the Red, White and Blue of the Lone Star State? Only time will tell.
~*~
When justice is done, it brings joy to the righteous but terror to evildoers.
Proverbs 21:15
We now live in a world where being "politically correct" is valued over the truth. If you speak the truth you are seen as "intolerant".
I am infuriated!
Other people's rights end when it infringes on my rights! But they don't see it that way. If I don't agree with them then I am the one that is wrong because I am intolerant.
I must respect the "rights" of these other believes, yet they do not respect my rights to my beliefs.
Thankfully this terrorist- if he survives his injuries- will not be left with pleasant options no matter how it goes. If he is tried by the U.S. Military he will receive the death penalty. If he is tried by the State of Texas he will receive the death penalty. Justice will be served, and I'm quite sure it will be quick justice. And he will not be allowed to be seen as a "martyr" for his belief because he was captured by his enemy. Tough break for you, terrorist! You chose to mess with the wrong state. You will receive your justice, Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue. The only question is- will it be the Red, White and Blue of the U.S. Military- or will it be the Red, White and Blue of the Lone Star State? Only time will tell.
~*~
When justice is done, it brings joy to the righteous but terror to evildoers.
Proverbs 21:15
Saturday, November 7, 2009
"American Soldier"
This has been another week with a terrorist attack on American Soil- a Military Base at that. Most of the media will not call it what it is, but the fact of the matter is that it WAS a terrorist attack.
As I sit here writing today I have just watched video from September 11, 2001. It is video that has been censored from the American Media Outlets. Yet, I agree with the author of this site- I believe EVERY AMERICAN household needs to watch this video. This guy states that it should be watched on the anniversary of the 9-11 attacks. Yes, I agree with that, but I also believe that maybe it should be watched another time or two throughout the year. No, not every day of the year, or even month of the year, because that will simply desensitize us to the reality of what did happen to us on that fateful day in history.
Yes, the images that are show are horrific! But that day was horrific! It is our reality! It has not changed!
No matter what your political views are, the memory of the horror of that day is something I am sure most of us will never forget. And yet, we have once again become so complacent.
Even with this attack at Ft. Hood on Thursday, the American people are still so very complacent. The difference with the Presidential response in September 2001 and November 2009 is appalling! If you do not question the light-hearted shout-out to friends from President Obama then I have to wonder where your loyalites lie.
Are you so loyal to a man who leads that you cannot see that your fellow countrymen died at the hands of a religious extremist?
There are conflicting reports of the terrorist, as far as religious beliefs are, but plain and simple, he had started dressing in the traditional Islamic clothing and yelled honor to his god before he began shooting.
You will not find his name here. You will not find the name of his god. Because this is not about him or his god. He will not get attention from me, by posting his name and beliefs and anything else about him. He was here in a country that gave him the opportunity to practice medicine. Yet he did not want to pay the price- a price that all of our military pays. Each person that is in the military puts their life on the line every single day to keep our country- the people who live in this country- free! We do not have a draft. He volunteered, just as everyone does. I'm sure he, and many others, volunteer so they can get a free education. But there is NOTHING in life that is free- NOTHING! Someone, somewhere, somehow, has to pay the price.
I can never forget September 11, 2001. Our county was attacked. But many- most- have forgotten.
~*~
No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you. Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:5-9
As I sit here writing today I have just watched video from September 11, 2001. It is video that has been censored from the American Media Outlets. Yet, I agree with the author of this site- I believe EVERY AMERICAN household needs to watch this video. This guy states that it should be watched on the anniversary of the 9-11 attacks. Yes, I agree with that, but I also believe that maybe it should be watched another time or two throughout the year. No, not every day of the year, or even month of the year, because that will simply desensitize us to the reality of what did happen to us on that fateful day in history.
Yes, the images that are show are horrific! But that day was horrific! It is our reality! It has not changed!
No matter what your political views are, the memory of the horror of that day is something I am sure most of us will never forget. And yet, we have once again become so complacent.
Even with this attack at Ft. Hood on Thursday, the American people are still so very complacent. The difference with the Presidential response in September 2001 and November 2009 is appalling! If you do not question the light-hearted shout-out to friends from President Obama then I have to wonder where your loyalites lie.
Are you so loyal to a man who leads that you cannot see that your fellow countrymen died at the hands of a religious extremist?
There are conflicting reports of the terrorist, as far as religious beliefs are, but plain and simple, he had started dressing in the traditional Islamic clothing and yelled honor to his god before he began shooting.
You will not find his name here. You will not find the name of his god. Because this is not about him or his god. He will not get attention from me, by posting his name and beliefs and anything else about him. He was here in a country that gave him the opportunity to practice medicine. Yet he did not want to pay the price- a price that all of our military pays. Each person that is in the military puts their life on the line every single day to keep our country- the people who live in this country- free! We do not have a draft. He volunteered, just as everyone does. I'm sure he, and many others, volunteer so they can get a free education. But there is NOTHING in life that is free- NOTHING! Someone, somewhere, somehow, has to pay the price.
I can never forget September 11, 2001. Our county was attacked. But many- most- have forgotten.
~*~
No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you. Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:5-9
Thursday, October 1, 2009
"I Can Only Imagine"
Writing and music are my ways of dealing with the hardships of life. It has been a rough 24 hours for me and my family– which includes extended family whose only blood relation is through the blood of Jesus Christ. So, to deal with everything that is going on, I write. And as I write, I listen to music. It helps me cope. It helps me sort out my emotions. It helps me find some semblance of sense where there seems to be absolutely no sense at all.
Today, the song playing may seem odd to many. It is, "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. For those who know what is going on in my life right now, you probably think that is a really strange song. But for me, it is perfect.
Yesterday morning I received a call from my dad. I thought something was strange,
because he asked for my husband. But I didn't think too much about it, because I was taking care of the baby.
It wasn't but just a couple of seconds and my husband was beside me. I heard him ask my dad if it was my mom. I knew by the tone of his voice that something was definitely wrong. I whirled around and immediately asked, "What? What's wrong??"
My husband gave me the phone, and I immediately asked my dad what had happened. I could hear it in his voice before he even spoke. I heard him trying to breathe. But I heard the sobs. I knew something had happened.
It was then, through a very broken voice and sobs, that my dad told me that one of my very best friends from childhood had been killed in a car accident in the late night/early morning hours.
I do not remember for a few minutes afterwards. I remember screaming. I remember dropping the phone. I remember my husband saying something to my dad. At the time I did not know what it was. Now, I know that he was telling my dad that we would call him back when I had calmed down.
The shock was overwhelming. Why is it that our mortality effects us this way? For me personally, I am a believer in Christ Jesus. I am told in God's Word that to die in Christ is gain (Philippians 1:20-22).
While many self-righteous, religious people will judge him, I know without a doubt in my heart that my friend was a believer in Christ as well. So I know he is with Christ, rejoicing right now. So why was I so devastated? We know that our hope is in Christ Jesus.
We are so devastated- we mourn- because we have loved.
I have learned in this long journey of my life that love is not an easy thing. Love is depicted in the movies as glamorous and beautiful. Everything works out in the end. But reality is not always that way.
Yes, love is beautiful. It is one of the most beautiful things in existence. But with the beauty comes a lot of pain. To truly love someone, there must be excruciating pain when we lose them.
And yes, everything does work out in the end. We know that God is in control. For those of us who know our salvation- our eternity- is in Jesus, then our tears are just a moment in time. God will wipe away all of our tears one day. But the tears are beautiful, because they mean we have loved.
So today I embrace my tears. I welcome the pain, because I know that I loved this dear friend. We grew up together- me, my brother, him and his two sisters. We were all more like a big family rather than the best of friends. And though life, growing up, and time has kept us from seeing each other as often, it does not make us love each other any less. They will always be my family- blood or not.
Today, my song is to him and his memory. But more importantly, it is dedicated to his life. Because right now, I can only imagine what he is doing! Is he dancing before my Jesus right now? Is he before Him, praising and worshipping Him in awe? Is he singing before the throne of Jesus?
So this track is to you, Jeff- I Can Only Imagine what you are doing right now! And part of me is very envious of you.
~*~
...the name of Jesus every knee should bow, i heaven and on earth and under the earth, nd every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:10-11
Today, the song playing may seem odd to many. It is, "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. For those who know what is going on in my life right now, you probably think that is a really strange song. But for me, it is perfect.
Yesterday morning I received a call from my dad. I thought something was strange,
because he asked for my husband. But I didn't think too much about it, because I was taking care of the baby.
It wasn't but just a couple of seconds and my husband was beside me. I heard him ask my dad if it was my mom. I knew by the tone of his voice that something was definitely wrong. I whirled around and immediately asked, "What? What's wrong??"
My husband gave me the phone, and I immediately asked my dad what had happened. I could hear it in his voice before he even spoke. I heard him trying to breathe. But I heard the sobs. I knew something had happened.
It was then, through a very broken voice and sobs, that my dad told me that one of my very best friends from childhood had been killed in a car accident in the late night/early morning hours.
I do not remember for a few minutes afterwards. I remember screaming. I remember dropping the phone. I remember my husband saying something to my dad. At the time I did not know what it was. Now, I know that he was telling my dad that we would call him back when I had calmed down.
The shock was overwhelming. Why is it that our mortality effects us this way? For me personally, I am a believer in Christ Jesus. I am told in God's Word that to die in Christ is gain (Philippians 1:20-22).
While many self-righteous, religious people will judge him, I know without a doubt in my heart that my friend was a believer in Christ as well. So I know he is with Christ, rejoicing right now. So why was I so devastated? We know that our hope is in Christ Jesus.
We are so devastated- we mourn- because we have loved.
I have learned in this long journey of my life that love is not an easy thing. Love is depicted in the movies as glamorous and beautiful. Everything works out in the end. But reality is not always that way.
Yes, love is beautiful. It is one of the most beautiful things in existence. But with the beauty comes a lot of pain. To truly love someone, there must be excruciating pain when we lose them.
And yes, everything does work out in the end. We know that God is in control. For those of us who know our salvation- our eternity- is in Jesus, then our tears are just a moment in time. God will wipe away all of our tears one day. But the tears are beautiful, because they mean we have loved.
So today I embrace my tears. I welcome the pain, because I know that I loved this dear friend. We grew up together- me, my brother, him and his two sisters. We were all more like a big family rather than the best of friends. And though life, growing up, and time has kept us from seeing each other as often, it does not make us love each other any less. They will always be my family- blood or not.
Today, my song is to him and his memory. But more importantly, it is dedicated to his life. Because right now, I can only imagine what he is doing! Is he dancing before my Jesus right now? Is he before Him, praising and worshipping Him in awe? Is he singing before the throne of Jesus?
So this track is to you, Jeff- I Can Only Imagine what you are doing right now! And part of me is very envious of you.
~*~
...the name of Jesus every knee should bow, i heaven and on earth and under the earth, nd every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:10-11
"I Hope You Dance"
I am trying to collect some of the things I have strown out in several different places. There's just too much to keep up with.
Since music is such a very important part of our family's life, I will set our blog to music. So... if you are here, enjoy the soundtrack of our lives. You never know what you're going to get with us!!
The last few months things have been absolutely insane. We have finally got through the adoption process, and we are OFFICIAL! We are a family! No more CPS, no more case workers, no more, no more!
This song is dedicated to my children. My beautiful children, I hope you dance! Life is going to throw curve balls at you. Life is going to get tough. But one of my favorite sayings is:
"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain."
I want this to become the motto for each of your lives. God is your Strength. God is your Comfort. God is your Rock. Dance. It may be a sad dance, but life is a dance, none the less. Dance, my babies, dance!
~ * ~
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance... Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4
Since music is such a very important part of our family's life, I will set our blog to music. So... if you are here, enjoy the soundtrack of our lives. You never know what you're going to get with us!!
The last few months things have been absolutely insane. We have finally got through the adoption process, and we are OFFICIAL! We are a family! No more CPS, no more case workers, no more, no more!
This song is dedicated to my children. My beautiful children, I hope you dance! Life is going to throw curve balls at you. Life is going to get tough. But one of my favorite sayings is:
"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain."
I want this to become the motto for each of your lives. God is your Strength. God is your Comfort. God is your Rock. Dance. It may be a sad dance, but life is a dance, none the less. Dance, my babies, dance!
~ * ~
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance... Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4
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