"You're Gonna Be (Always Loved By Me)"

I just do not understand people.

I had an experience this week that will forever be stuck in my mind. Unfortunately, it is not a good experience.

My heart still aches remembering what I witnessed.

I was helping a friend of mine by taking her son to his pre-school. I was signing him in, helping him with his jacket, the normal morning routine. There was another mother in the room as well, talking with the teacher and her daughter. I heard them talking but did not pay any attention to their conversation.

Part of the conversation registered with me, and I smiled slightly, thinking it was nice to hear another parent teach their child about taking personal responsibility. The little girl had lost her charm at school the previous day. Her mother told her that she would not replace it, and neither would Santa, because it was her responsibility to keep up with it.

The mother opened the door (one of those that is cut in half, so the top will open, but the bottom will close, to keep the children in, but you can still talk over the top) to leave, and closed it behind her.

What happened next literally stopped me in my tracks and almost brought me to tears right there in the classrom.

The little girl looked up at her mom, who was already on the other side of the door, and said, "Mommy, I want a hug!"

The mother curtly replied, "No, I am not going to give you a hug because I am mad at you."

And she turned and walked away, leaving the little girl standing there. The little girl did not cry, but you could see that she was very sad- who wouldn't be??!!

My heart was ripped into watching this little girl. I wanted to bend down and put my arms around her and give her a hug, but these people do not know me at all. I was very torn on what to do, so I finally just hugged my friends little boy and left. I could not get to my car fast enough!

By this time I was fighting back tears. I had to put my toddler into his car seat, and he could tell that mommy was upset. I was trying not to let too much emotion escape me at this point, because I did not want to upset my son.

As soon as I could, I called my mom. I thanked her for raising me the way that she did, and never denying affection from me. I cried as I told her what I had just witnessed.

For much of the morning I pondered what had happened. I've come to realize that this exchange must happen a countless number of times throughout each day. How many children are denied affection because their parents are angry with them?

I am very strict on my children. But I also believe that with discipline comes love. If one of my children receives a spanking, they are hugged, and told that they are loved very much, that I know they do not understand this right now, but it is because I love them that I discipline them. I NEVER, EVER, EVER want any of my children to feel rejected because they have made a mistake.

But witnessing this exchange also made me realize something else.

For many years I had a misconception of Who God Is. I had understood from the preaching I had heard that when you mess up, God is angered. I began to believe that God denied His love from me.

Over the years, many things happened in my life that set me on a path of self-destruction. It took a major tragedy in my life for me to see God for Who He truly Is. I am sad that it took a tragedy, but I am so thankful that I know the love of my God.

God is my Heavenly Father. He disciplines me just as I discipline my children. But God NEVER, EVER, EVER witholds His love and affection from me!

I pray that this little girl- as well as her mother- will come to know the unconditional love of God. And I hope that this mother's heart will be softened and changed to love her child unconditionally- even when she is angry with her.
~*~
The Lord is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
Psalm 145:8